Sunday, 29 June 2014

Types of Parents

Number 1: The Helicopter Parent

This is the type of parent who is always hovering above their child. 'Helicopter parents' are like the wind beneath their children's wings, the yin to their yang, their guardian angel - and honestly, they are just so annoying. Obviously, most sane children aren't so in tune with this idea of helicopter parents, and so these are those parents that are always trying to convince their kids that they are 'best friends'. I really don't get it. These parents follow their kids everywhere, and i do mean everywhere... if you know what I mean. They take on every responsibility that their child has, protect them from all negativity, and trust me, this is not as cool as it sounds. A helicopter parents main attempt at order is created by guilt. They never let their kids do anything, but they still go: "You never do anything! Come on, please? I always have to do everything for you!"

For example, this is what Wikipedia has to say about it: Parents who try to involve themselves in every aspect of their child's life, often attempting to solve all their problems and stifling the child's ability to act independently or solve his own problems. A helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her children's experiences and problems, and attempts to sweep all obstacles out of their paths, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, especially during the late adolescence to early adulthood years, when a level of independence and self-sufficiency is normal. Modern communication technology has promoted this style by enabling parents to keep watch over their kids through cell phones, emails, and online grades.

Well, that pretty much covers it.

I would say I am pretty strongly averse to this style of parenting because, I mean, if you are always there to make sure your child never falls, then your child will never learn how to get back up after al fall. By protecting them from sadness, they are also protecting them from happiness. Helicopter parents, please, get this. Your kids? Yeah. They don't need to be bubble wrapped. Stop making all their decisions for them. Stop ruining their childhood! Okay, but that's not even the worst part. Because, these 'helicopter parents' being 'helicopter parents' always affect you as well, especially when you're trying to convince your friends' parents to go somewhere and they're asking so many questions and you're trying to make yourself sound like a good friend, and trying to convince them, as they drill you. Do you know the heartburn you're causing me? This is serious pressure on me! Your kids? Don't be selfish! What about me and my problems? But seriously, stop worrying. Let your kids have freedom. Let them be exposed to the world. The rest of us were.

Helicopter parents? Yeah. Slap yourself.

Next: The Drill Sergents

Drop and give me five... kids! Next thing you know, the kids are growing up, and honestly, the drill sergeants are just about the strictest parents ever. They are suspicious of everything, never let their kids do anything or go anywhere, give them extra homework, don't let them near the opposite sex, and treat all their kids'  friends exactly the same. I have a friend like this. I had to go to her house to pick her up to go to the library. The library. It was just a group project, and her and I, as well as one other friend, were going to the library to finish it. So my friend and I arrive at our friend's house at the same time, ring the doorbell, and then it begins. We are greeted by the glares of her parents, and they sit us down on the sofa, demanding our parent's numbers, and asking us when we three met, and what the project is about, and our favourite colours. I mean, I love this friend, and their house is awesome, and she gets good grades and usually wears cool clothes, but frankly, her parents scare me.

Drill Sergent parents provide absolutes - "You have to make this decision" - and give threats. "If you don't I will..." They have their expectations super high, it is so crazy what they expect their kids to do, but honestly, ugh. They demand so many responsibilities from their kids, and come up with the craziest punishments if they don't do it. Don't even get me started on their rules about clothes... Controlling every aspect of your life involves dressing as well. Sergents do not let you wear ANYTHING that shows the slightest bit of skin. I mean, yeah, most parents are like that, but with Sergents, by end of the whole thing, you are wrapped up like an egg. (I'm not sure how egg works here. I just randomly used it.) Sergents use heaps of harsh words and really, you are just afraid of them. They started being your generals instead of your parents a long time ago. They still love you... you just can't tell a lot of the time.

Kids with these parents, cut your parents some slack. They love you. They just use the only way they know. Kids are hard to deal with. This is every parent's first reaction. Build trust between you and your parents so they believe you when you say something, and let you have more free reign. If that doesn't work, run away. No. Wait, don't. Tough the eighteen years out, and try and remember that this is all they know. They do love you, even if sometime it doesn't seem like it.

And honestly, sergents, cut your kids some slack. They need freedom from time to time. By all means, keep an eye on them, but don't go so far. They need a childhood, not eighteen years under prison-like conditions till they can finally escape. I can guarantee your kids won't be big fans of visiting when they grow up. They need a life. Let them have it, and they will appreciate it down the road, trust me. I know you're concerned for your kids, but hey, seriously, let them grow older - they'll survive. If you try and squish them, they'll only fight back harder. There is  always a line you can't cross in this situation - it's as simple as, don't cross it. Ease up. Kids need freedom, they need privacy, and most of all, they need you to be their friends, not their enemy. That, of course, brings us to our next parent.

The Ice Pack

Ice Pack parents, are, frankly, the coolest parents ever. They're not just your parents, they're your homies, and you know you can trust them with anything. Sometimes they are just one parent, and well, sometimes both are awesome. They know how to text, they can cook, they can dance, they know all your friends, they know about the boy you like. They understand that good parent is about trust and building a bond with their child. Yes, they exist. After all, every parent was a kid at sometime, even if it seems impossible. Now, Ice Pack parents will still smack up their kids if they're being stupid, but they're generally ice cool about stuff, and are always there for you to cool things down or press a soothing ice pack to that wound.

They know about that time when you failed your maths test, and they know that you're wearing a mini skirt beneath those jeans when you leave the house, they just choose to look the other way and let you have your childhood. They say no, and expect a certain level of obedience, but beyond that, they are the coolest parents to exist. They give the best advice, always know what to do, always listen to you, help with homework but don't do it all for you, give you a reasonable amount of pocket money or rewards, and honestly, you and your friends are constantly astonished by their awesomeness. Remember that it does take time to create an Ice Pack parents, and trust. If you're failing school, breaking the law, coming home at two in the morning, never studying, being rude, getting drunk, well, your parents aren't going to be so ice cool. You need to build trust between your parents and yourself; show them you deserve it.

Number 4: DNC's

The Do Not Care parents are just what the name implies. They don't care. About ANYTHING. That their kid is doing. ANYTHING. It is crazy. I mean, Ice Pack parents will still whoop their kids if they do something wrong, but DMC's? Noooo. They barely know their kid's name or age. Forgetting birthdays, forgetting to feed the kid, forgetting to pick the kid up, it is neglect at it's finest. But really, a DNC parent trying is the weirdest thing you will ever see. Awkward hugs, candy for dinner, movies 24/7, dropping the kid off at the wrong place, the forgetting to pick them up, leaving their phone on silent, I mean, why are you even a parent? Don't... Just don't... Sigh. I mean, just give your kid up for adoption if you can't be bothered.

You can't even tell with these parents. They're off with the fairies, and nothing gets them back. They do not try, honestly, to do ANYTHING. It is scary, and irritating. But, I mean, babysitters often get their job from DNC's, so. That's a positive, I guess. Always a silver lining. (I never got that. Isn't it gold lining? Clouds have gold behind them, not silver. Who coined this phrase anyway?)

I use the word honestly a lot. Honestly, it's weird how much I use it.

Number 5: Generation gap

Generation gap parents are those parents who have no idea what is going on. Not to be confused with DNC's. Generation Gap parents are so behind on everything. They cannot text, cannot dance, do not know who the president is, and drive really slowly. It's like they're still stuck in the twentieth century. They do not know how to use the internet at all, and

They love you, and you love them, but sometimes they are clueless. They can be strict, but are still good parents, but sometimes it feels like you're the parent, because it is adorable how unknowing they are. You are constantly embarrassed by their antics, and irritated by them calling you every five minutes to ask you how to use email, or Facebook, or print something, or turn the TV on, change the channels, charge something, etc. They don't know anything from this century - songs, movies, celebrities, games. Their presents to you aren't always as well-informed as you'd like, but well meaning. They buy you weird clothes most of the time, have weird accents, and frustrate you by not being able to learn about the internet or help you with certain homework. But at the end of the day, they can cook, and clean, and walk, and talk, and read, and love you, and that's all you need, sometimes.

Number 6: Fire Fighter

Fire Fighter parents treat you like a total grown up. Not to be confused with the Ice Pack's, or DNC's. It feels more like you've moved in with your friend instead of living with a parent, or they are more like your older sibling, but that isn't a bad thing. These parents tell you everything, and they let you develop and grow at your own pace, take you seriously, help you with homework, play games with you, give you advice, go shopping with you, and don't embarrass you.

Wikipedia says:

Encourages parents to plan and organise less for their children, instead allowing them to enjoy their childhood and explore the world at their own pace. Allowing the child to develop their own interests and allowing them to grow into their own person, lots of family time, allowing children to make their own decisions, limit electronics, simplistic toys. The central idea of this movement is that it is possible and desirable to raise and educate children without doing anything to them against their will, or making them do anything against their will.

I will never understand Wikipedia's crazy ability to stuff everything into such short paragraphs. I mean, this post certainly wasn't supposed to be this long... *blush*

They let you make your own decisions for the most part, encourage family time, disapprove of too much time on electronics, . They don't necessarily know about the tests you failed, or all your friends, but they see you well, and know you well. They place responsibilities on you, tease you playfully, and you have a cool relationship with them. And I mean, sure, you have your fights. And sometimes you feel like the parent. But in the end, they love you, and you love them.

Well, that's it! Regardless of the type of parent you have, they love you, and they should. <3 :) Who knows? I might do a Part 2! Hope you liked reading, and thank you! Till next time...

- A Girl In This World

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